August 10: My Love Language to Myself
August 10 — My Love Language to Myself
If you loved yourself the way you love others, what would you do differently tomorrow?
I'm going to answer based on the title alone first, my actual love language to myself. The things I do for myself that make me feel so loved by me.
Taking an extensively long everything-shower.
Brushing my hair slowly.
Getting into bed early.
Spending quality time with myself — reading, cooking, writing.
Indulging in small luxuries: an iced coffee, a massage, getting my hair and nails done.
Wearing comfortable clothes.
Putting my phone on Do Not Disturb.
Listening to a podcast while I run errands.
Buying something nice for myself. (Retail therapy.)
Getting ice cream.
Going to therapy.
Indulging in sleep.
More recently, I caught something in myself. When I need the bathroom at inconvenient times — leaving the airport, mid-rushed-errand, right before we leave the house — I suppress it, because I don't want to inconvenience anyone. Then it hit me: I've waited for people, helped them find bathrooms, encouraged them at the most inconvenient times imaginable. So why can't I afford myself that same basic human decency? That's the whole thing, isn't it. I've learned to love others fluently, and I'm still learning to consistently speak that language to me.
I've learned to really treat myself the way I treat others, with love, kindness, compassion. But so often, when I slow down, prioritize myself, actually turn the Do Not Disturb on, I feel a lingering anxiety. A feeling that I have to stay available for everyone, just in case. A feeling that I should be rushing. That there's something better, something more productive, I could be doing with my time. I work to quiet that noise every single day. Sometimes I win. Sometimes it's so loud I can't silence it for days on end. It's an everyday battle, but I keep trying.
What would I do differently tomorrow? I'd try to win that battle. I'd prioritize myself without feeling guilty.
