Hello November!
So I’m posting this a bit late & almost halfway through the month, but it’s because October has been A LOT, and the last few weeks I have been super busy, not necessarily physically, but mentally. I know I’ve alluded to going through a lot every month for the past couple of months. It’s a subject still difficult for me to fully put out there, but the “a lot” continues, unfortunately, and October was a peak of that.
That being said, it was not all bad, and I always want to train my mind, body, and soul to never leave out the good, and in fact to overemphasise it, because we easily forget to recognise blessings. We get so used to them they become part of the things we don’t notice. But it is only when you notice them, when you emphasise them, that you truly comprehend how hard life actually is for many people and how lucky you are.
So, as I usually do, I went through my camera roll to really comprehend what happened in October, and here it goes.
In October I:
Completed my Invisalign journey! My dentist showed me the stacks of Invisalign boxes prescribed to his patients and said, “You can see how many patients I have. None of them have been as committed as you are, and I’ve never seen such an amazing result.” Honestly, this journey wasn’t easy. I HATE going to the dentist, so to finish it in this way means a lot.
Perfected my Arabic coffee recipe. I’ve been testing many brands and trying out different techniques, and I’ve officially found one that not only satisfies me, but won everyone’s hearts!
Wrote 3 blog posts.
Finished a book.
Participated in a cooking challenge hosted by my in-laws and won!
AND won a baking challenge, also hosted by my in-laws, with my husband.
Celebrated 2 of our 3 anniversaries with my husband! (The engagement and the melcha)
Worked out 7 times.
Cooked 8 times, really good meals made with so much effort and love! I feel like an official cook.
Received flowers twice.
Worked on a very special project with my husband endlessly!
Finally got outdoor seating for our balcony <3
Went through a month (literally) of preparing for a medical procedure and recovering from it.
Made so much PhD progress (ilhemdila):
Started the qualitative data collection phase of my research
Conducted a full pilot
Met with my supervisors and relayed the results and progress
Started collecting data by conducting interviews!
Reflecting on October, whilst the biggest focus, taking up most of my time, energy, and thoughts, was the medical issue I faced, I was still able to do so much. Because of what I was going through medically, I spent a lot of time at home, and I utilised that time to do productive things such as learning to cook. I improved our home by finally furnishing our balcony, which was something I had always wanted to do. I spent a lot of quality time with my husband, and I indulged in it. We did a fun arts and crafts project, and we celebrated our anniversaries. It was a month of bonding on a deeper level for us; we are the only two people in the world who fully understand what we’re going through. I really felt taken care of. He showed up for me in my most vulnerable moments, and these are the type of experiences that bind you to each other.
I also focused as much as I could on my PhD, scared to lose the momentum I had gained from the previous month. It was not a very easy month, but it carried a lot of hope (however, as I’m writing this blog post the troubles seem to persist, unfortunately, but there will always be hope). With recent news, and a bit of a hint of how this month will go, I think it is important to move forward in November with a more meticulous approach.
What I’m leaving in October:
Comparing myself to others
Excessive doomscrolling
Being still (although it was due to my medical issues, I’m done “resting”)
What I’m taking into November:
Keeping up the PhD momentum!
Keep moving forward
Spending time with the people I love AND maintaining my boundaries
Keeping up my self-care
What I want more of in November:
Being disciplined and having a fixed routine.
Not allowing myself to drown in sorrow.
Being active.
Being more rigorous about completing daily PhD goals.
Being a good friend (Saying yes to invites, showing up for my friends when they need it, checking in on my friends often).
Not letting one aspect of my life bleed into every other one.
Being a good wife (I want to focus on ways to make my husband’s day a little bit brighter, the way he always makes mine).
Relying heavily on my relationship with God.
Making maximum use of my time and keeping my mind busy.
Reading more.
Focusing on positive inner dialogue.
October was not easy, and the losses will carry through to November, but I need to take mental stock of my wellbeing and not let them drown me out. It is so hard to still maintain a life when you’re going through something hard, but I refuse to let one thing take over. It’s as if you are giving it the power to take away more, so I really want to cut my losses and find ways to bloom despite it all. I want to keep moving forward and always have hope, and to do that I really need to dig deep into my faith, do my part in taking the right steps forward, and free-fall into my reliance on God. I want to focus on the parts of my life that are doing well instead of the parts that are not. I want to really catch myself before I fall deep into a sadness that is hard to recover from, yet I want to allow myself to feel all the feelings. It’s a tricky balance, but that’s, I think, my hope for November: to maintain that balance and still make memories, continue to work on my dreams, and nurture my positive relationships. It is not easy to be an optimistic person. It is a choice you make every single day and work very hard to maintain. I continue to choose to be optimistic, and November will be full of blessings.
